it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
