Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
