Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
a search helicopter?!
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
