Screwed.edu
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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