This is not my ceiling
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
