My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize