this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
