Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It's just like the Real World with babies
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Floor bacon is actually really good
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
