SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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