saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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