Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
