I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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