my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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