Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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