direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Oh god it's open bar.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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