She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
