Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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