a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
