Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
