do herpes really smell.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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