i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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