Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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