I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
