Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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