okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
