do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize