you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
