wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
