They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I miss vodka workout Fridays
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
