we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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