Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
