Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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