Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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