Umm I'm too high to move.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize