I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
