he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
