Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
