ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
