im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
