Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I love you.
Bad choice
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