and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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