There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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