im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Ladies don't puke and tell
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize