Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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