She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
