shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
