Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
