so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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