dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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