How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
