Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Randomize
Follow @tfln