After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
