What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.