yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
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Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
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I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid