Don't you send me to vm
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
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Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
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there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?