she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So much puke
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME