She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool