Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
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just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
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I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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