i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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