So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
