I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i was born a porn star she said
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
