I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
did i just pee glitter
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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