She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
