we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
