why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby