Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.

(1-908): View more from New Jersey

you should have been aborted.

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(908): we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now. (1-908): you should have been aborted. http://tfl.nu/el6q

Replies (19) Good night (4332) Bad night (1153)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...

(1-702): View more from Nevada

ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha

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(702): Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday... (1-702): ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha http://tfl.nu/3d74

Replies (19) Good night (2802) Bad night (681)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.

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(617): I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront. http://tfl.nu/9odf

Replies (15) Good night (3820) Bad night (791)
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(409): View more from Texas

There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.

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(409): There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard. http://tfl.nu/fxyx

Replies (9) Good night (4930) Bad night (1365)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol

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(513): Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol http://tfl.nu/0mrj

Replies (2) Good night (2771) Bad night (795)
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(419): View more from Ohio

I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.

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(419): I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again. http://tfl.nu/gudi

Replies (16) Good night (2819) Bad night (1662)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.

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(575): You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/h3k6

Replies (13) Good night (1883) Bad night (713)
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(260): View more from Indiana

Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?

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(260): Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers? http://tfl.nu/8xa0

Replies (4) Good night (579) Bad night (1771)
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(757): View more from Virginia

You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex

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(757): You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex http://tfl.nu/b8jn

Replies (7) Good night (1278) Bad night (602)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.

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(270): You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/j0k2

Replies (16) Good night (1819) Bad night (525)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.

(917): View more from New York City

Gotta love Minnesota

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(612): Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door. (917): Gotta love Minnesota http://tfl.nu/qkph

Replies (3) Good night (997) Bad night (434)
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(309): View more from Illinois

His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.

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(309): His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/bv47

Replies (7) Good night (794) Bad night (538)
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(210): View more from Texas

We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.

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(210): We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends. http://tfl.nu/i30s

Replies (1) Good night (567) Bad night (321)
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(727): View more from Florida

Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am

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(727): Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am http://tfl.nu/hlxu

Replies (1) Good night (461) Bad night (164)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.

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(860): I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person. http://tfl.nu/cae7

Replies (1) Good night (167) Bad night (278)

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