yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.