He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I FOUND THE LEGS
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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