it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
