awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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