i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
