It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
