the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
