elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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